Well we are about two weeks away from being in our cozy apartment in San Jose, and yes by now I am looking forward to that! This has been a wonderful trip. Finally meeting Marcos´ family and being able to experience his roots first hand. To drive the streets he´s driven a thousand times over and see the schools that he attended. More than that, to hear the stories of how he was as a child. (Funny enough he was a little like me, kind of cried and pouted alot :) I was able to meet some of his closest friends, spend alot of time with his sisters, nieces and nephews and parents, god parents and friends of the family.. In fact we had a beautiful dinner with a couple who are good friends of 40 plus years to his parents.. The wife comes from Italian descent and the husband is practically Italian by association.. Apparently there is a town near Cordoba with practically all Italian descent, it was her grandmother who was born in Italy.. After dinner the husband shared poetry that he had written, talked about the little things in life that are really the most important and talked about how in love he is with his wife after 40 years of marriage saying, ´More so now than ever.´ I felt like I was in Italy listening to him talk.. He is a beautiful soul, and she too, and I had such a wonderful evening getting to know them. Marcos´ god parents, too, are very sweet.. They have also known his parents for more than 40 years and they came over for the weekend to see Marcos and meet his daughter and yours truly ;) Unfortunatly, I came down with the flu and ended up in bed all weekend. We were supposed to go to the hotsprings where I was due for a massage seeing as it was my birthday!! Yes, classic. Did I have to end up with the flu and miss out on the hot springs.. Yes Kristin Carlson, take two steps back ;) Oh well, wasn´t meant to be..
So as I am well ready to go home, I am also remembering that that means Marcos must say goodbye to his family, friends, country and language for another good chunk of time and for that I try to not be in a hurry. This has been a real trip. No sugar coating. Beautiful yes, easy, well not all the time. And that´s okay. One thing I knew as I got on the airplane to come down here was that this trip was going to be growthful for me. And it has been. It has also shown me how brave Marcos is and how much he must love me. It is not easy to be away from your family and friends, from everything you know and then throw in a language that you must learn really fast or feel like a total idiot. I told him before we came down, ¨I don´t understand why you are so afraid to speak, you know almost everything you need to say. Just wait till I am in Mexico, I will be talking away!¨ Then I got here and I was like, ¨Gulp! Uhhh, yo p-p-p-puedo t-t-tener uh una a-a-a-agua?¨ Oh really big talker? I have so much more respect for him now. The fact that he even came to the US alone, then started working. I´m kinda surprised he didn´t take the midnight train when he found out we were pregnant! (just kidding :) But really, it takes not only alot of courage but the will power to make new friends, enjoy new family and enjoy a different way of life. And I give him an A+ for all of the above.
So upon arrival to our home, things I will be thankful for are: clean streets, relatively clean water, recycling, space, English, MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!! , my kitties who I miss so much and supposedly have been very good and patient, getting back to work, driving myself around again, going to Santa Cruz, restaurants, being my own boss, chai tea, my bath tub, our king size bed, eating Thai food, eating anything other than Mexican food, not eating tortillas for breakfast and lunch and dinner, cooking, salads, the beach the river and the mountains whenever I want, my farm visits, getting back to music, watching Giselle as she starts out on her exploration of the world seeing as she is just about to crawl and talk, go for my Sunday morning outings, and yet saving all our money so that we can come back and do it all again next year! (Hopefully with some of my friends and family to balance it out a bit ;)
I don´t know if I´ll post too much more, maybe I´ll have some great story to tell before we get back.. Well actually I´m sure I will. And the drive home will be quite a story in itself I´m sure.. But don´t worry.. We will be totally safe, surrounded by our angels.. And hopefully Giselle will be in good spirits as we make the treck back up.. She is chewing on an onion right now! Sweet little gal.. As always, we send all our love and kisses, can´t wait to see you all very soon and thank you for your love and support as we continue to make this wonderful journey!! Besos XOXOX
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Yes and No
As the days go by I find myself saying, ¨I definitely like this¨or ¨Nope not for me¨.. So I decided I would go through some of my funny yes and no´s..
Yes to people walking in the streets.
No to packing the car way above the alloted limit.
Yes to a favorable exchange rate.
No to cow tongue tacos.
Yes to hearty family meals everyday.
No to even more expensive gasoline.
Yes to foodstands every ten feet.
No to not wearing seatbelts.(I´ve kinda had to get strict about this one :) Safety first!
Yes to exploring the cities and neighborhoods.
No to working on vacation.. Marcos
Yes to finding all the great little shops with cheap treats.
No to talking, if they find out I´m American the price doubles!
Yes and no to a smoking volcano.. very pretty, a little nerve racking..
Yes to meeting friends and family.
Yes to pushing myself beyond comfortable limits.
No to eating at buffet restaurants.. Made Denny´s look like the Metropolitan Grill..
Yes to fully tiled bathrooms with walk in showers.
Yes and no to cement houses.. Great for the heat, a little chilly though in winter..
Yes and no to bar windows.. Gives the impression of unsafe, but actually gaurantees safety!
Yes to cobble stone streets.
No to car polution.
Yes to fruit water.. Mmmm, I love the pineapple water!
Yes to tacos arabes.. yummy, high calorie carnitas tacos, grilled to tenderness..
No to tortillas, cheese and beans everyday.. getting a little plugged up :(
Yes to the dogs in the streets.. Actually some of the happiest and smartest dogs I´ve ever seen.. The street´s their oyster!
No to toll roads.. Lots of ´em down here!
Yes to all the cute little kids walking home from school in their uniforms with their parents. (Side note: Vendors selling candy, ice cream and toys wait at the entrance of the schools for when school gets out to sell to the kids! They sure know their target audience!!)
Yes to fire blowers in the intersections, on red lights clowns, and fire blowers and jugglers perform for tips.. I saw a woman juggling with her toddler strapped in sleeping in a front pack, sweet and a little sad..
Yes to the beautiful Spanish architecture.
Yes to Giselle playing with her cousin´s.
Yes to cerveza.. Although somehow I´ve become a total light weight.. I´m about a one drink and done sort of gal these days! What?!
Yes to mamey a yummy sweet red fruit, tasting in between melon and strawberry.
No to speed bumps.. Instead of putting in stop signs Mexico decided to put more than enough speed bumps on every road, hwy, you name it.. I think they were drinking too much cerveza when they mapped out the speed bumps!
Yes and no to Spanish programming.. Funny, interesting, but very body conscious.. Although I´m sure if I was an outsider looking into American programs I would say the same thing..
Yes to Mexican laundry mat´s.. You drop your clothes off, come back four hours later and it´s folded in a bag clean and dry and waiting for you.. 7 bucks!
Yes to hand made tortillas.
Yes to fresh made sweet bread.. Been indulging in that waaaayy too much, probably not helping with my whole digestion process either..
Well, I´ll keep filling the list in as I go.. Love to you all!!
Yes to people walking in the streets.
No to packing the car way above the alloted limit.
Yes to a favorable exchange rate.
No to cow tongue tacos.
Yes to hearty family meals everyday.
No to even more expensive gasoline.
Yes to foodstands every ten feet.
No to not wearing seatbelts.(I´ve kinda had to get strict about this one :) Safety first!
Yes to exploring the cities and neighborhoods.
No to working on vacation.. Marcos
Yes to finding all the great little shops with cheap treats.
No to talking, if they find out I´m American the price doubles!
Yes and no to a smoking volcano.. very pretty, a little nerve racking..
Yes to meeting friends and family.
Yes to pushing myself beyond comfortable limits.
No to eating at buffet restaurants.. Made Denny´s look like the Metropolitan Grill..
Yes to fully tiled bathrooms with walk in showers.
Yes and no to cement houses.. Great for the heat, a little chilly though in winter..
Yes and no to bar windows.. Gives the impression of unsafe, but actually gaurantees safety!
Yes to cobble stone streets.
No to car polution.
Yes to fruit water.. Mmmm, I love the pineapple water!
Yes to tacos arabes.. yummy, high calorie carnitas tacos, grilled to tenderness..
No to tortillas, cheese and beans everyday.. getting a little plugged up :(
Yes to the dogs in the streets.. Actually some of the happiest and smartest dogs I´ve ever seen.. The street´s their oyster!
No to toll roads.. Lots of ´em down here!
Yes to all the cute little kids walking home from school in their uniforms with their parents. (Side note: Vendors selling candy, ice cream and toys wait at the entrance of the schools for when school gets out to sell to the kids! They sure know their target audience!!)
Yes to fire blowers in the intersections, on red lights clowns, and fire blowers and jugglers perform for tips.. I saw a woman juggling with her toddler strapped in sleeping in a front pack, sweet and a little sad..
Yes to the beautiful Spanish architecture.
Yes to Giselle playing with her cousin´s.
Yes to cerveza.. Although somehow I´ve become a total light weight.. I´m about a one drink and done sort of gal these days! What?!
Yes to mamey a yummy sweet red fruit, tasting in between melon and strawberry.
No to speed bumps.. Instead of putting in stop signs Mexico decided to put more than enough speed bumps on every road, hwy, you name it.. I think they were drinking too much cerveza when they mapped out the speed bumps!
Yes and no to Spanish programming.. Funny, interesting, but very body conscious.. Although I´m sure if I was an outsider looking into American programs I would say the same thing..
Yes to Mexican laundry mat´s.. You drop your clothes off, come back four hours later and it´s folded in a bag clean and dry and waiting for you.. 7 bucks!
Yes to hand made tortillas.
Yes to fresh made sweet bread.. Been indulging in that waaaayy too much, probably not helping with my whole digestion process either..
Well, I´ll keep filling the list in as I go.. Love to you all!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
A great loss
This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Mary Riedel, her boyfriend Nate Peterson and their beautiful baby girl Liliana. I recieved news on Sunday morning from my mom that late Saturday night due to Menangitis Liliana had passed away. It took her in less than twenty four hours. She was nine months old, born a month before Giselle.
I grew up with a group of about seven close girlfriends. Four of which, including myself, ended up pregnant together. Amazing but true. Our big bellies brought us together after years of not being connected. This wild journey has been even more amazing being able to share it with the ladies I love and dream about our children growing up as best friends, just as we did. I have watched my friends and I grow in amazing ways. Our hearts wide open, our wisdom and direction deepening. Being a mother has been the utmost of blessings.
A parent never, ever wants to survive their children at any time, any age. And a new mom looks out onto the world with bright eyes, a big open heart and deep contentment for the beautiful gift they posess in their arms. I know from first hand experience right now. And I think that is why this is excrutiatingly painful for me as well. My heart is in a million pieces as hour by hour I think about Mary and Nate. As I kiss Giselle and nurse her, I thank god, but am also so overwhelmed by the great loss that Mary is feeling. I feel it with her. In my Christmas album that I emailed a month back there is a picture of Mary holding Giselle and I holding little Liliana. For that visit, Liliana didn´t want anyone but her mama. I watched the two of them so in love, and this image is forever imprinted in my mind. So I wrote a poem for them. It´s is just how I feel. Not rose colored, because I can´t find the reason in this quite yet. But it is a deep connection with how I feel, and a piece of what I imagine Mary must be feeling.. Please say a prayer for them. I thank God for all of you..
In my minds eye
I think back to
a time not so far away
When a sweet baby girl
only wanted her mama
And her mama only for her
With eye brows raised
and lips closed tight
She slowly made her way through the world
But her life cut too short
For any to understand
A space no one can fill
And though they say
It is better to have loved and lost
Than not ever loved at all
I wonder if that author
ever said a short goodbye
to the one they loved the most
so as I sit in silence
As the quiet night creeps in
I say a prayer for my dear friend
in the same breath wishing
I could turn back the time
How does a mother go on
with empty arms?
Where does the strength to
take the next breath come from?
What can I do to ease even
the slightest of the pain?
I reach out my arms to you
an embrace from near and far
whisper in your ear
I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
I pray for you healing and strength
I share in your broken heart
And Liliana, in my heart will live on
for the rest of my life.
I grew up with a group of about seven close girlfriends. Four of which, including myself, ended up pregnant together. Amazing but true. Our big bellies brought us together after years of not being connected. This wild journey has been even more amazing being able to share it with the ladies I love and dream about our children growing up as best friends, just as we did. I have watched my friends and I grow in amazing ways. Our hearts wide open, our wisdom and direction deepening. Being a mother has been the utmost of blessings.
A parent never, ever wants to survive their children at any time, any age. And a new mom looks out onto the world with bright eyes, a big open heart and deep contentment for the beautiful gift they posess in their arms. I know from first hand experience right now. And I think that is why this is excrutiatingly painful for me as well. My heart is in a million pieces as hour by hour I think about Mary and Nate. As I kiss Giselle and nurse her, I thank god, but am also so overwhelmed by the great loss that Mary is feeling. I feel it with her. In my Christmas album that I emailed a month back there is a picture of Mary holding Giselle and I holding little Liliana. For that visit, Liliana didn´t want anyone but her mama. I watched the two of them so in love, and this image is forever imprinted in my mind. So I wrote a poem for them. It´s is just how I feel. Not rose colored, because I can´t find the reason in this quite yet. But it is a deep connection with how I feel, and a piece of what I imagine Mary must be feeling.. Please say a prayer for them. I thank God for all of you..
In my minds eye
I think back to
a time not so far away
When a sweet baby girl
only wanted her mama
And her mama only for her
With eye brows raised
and lips closed tight
She slowly made her way through the world
But her life cut too short
For any to understand
A space no one can fill
And though they say
It is better to have loved and lost
Than not ever loved at all
I wonder if that author
ever said a short goodbye
to the one they loved the most
so as I sit in silence
As the quiet night creeps in
I say a prayer for my dear friend
in the same breath wishing
I could turn back the time
How does a mother go on
with empty arms?
Where does the strength to
take the next breath come from?
What can I do to ease even
the slightest of the pain?
I reach out my arms to you
an embrace from near and far
whisper in your ear
I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
I pray for you healing and strength
I share in your broken heart
And Liliana, in my heart will live on
for the rest of my life.
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